2manyemotions

im pretty hurt and confused right now. this weekend hasnt been the best for me. i hope every one else had more fun than i did. me and william broke up. i thought we ended on good terms... well he went to this party sat. night where his physco ex. was. all this crap got started now i dont know where him and i stand. i dont even know what to do. i personally think its all stupid. i hope he makes some effort to talk to me on monday. but i dunno how that will go.. ... i should screw hif best friend jk jk jk !

wow. what a great weekend. i didnt have school friday so that was great! i got to spend time to my self.. i went to kims that nite. we had great fun ;) saturday morning, we were plannin' on gettin' up early and going to ashley's barn..but we woke up an hour late. so we got fred up, me him and kim went trail riding for like an hour or so.. haha. we rode them up to road kill cafe in the parkin lot with the intentions on gettin somthin to drink, but they were closed.. poo. any ways, i went home and got ready and went to my sisters baby shower. she got ALOT of stuff.
to much pink
well kim called me wanting to know if i wanted to go to scarowinds with her , ashley, jason and some of his family.. well i didnt have any money with me,but ashley had a ticket i could use (thnx girly) we went out there. it was really fun. me and kim had to leave early though b/c mom wanted me home befor 12 am. (sorry girl) well we couldnt find any open gas staions. so we didnt get home til' about 1am. haha. i slept sooo good. william called me to make sure i got home ok and all that.. aww <3 so we talked for like 30 min. and i finally got to sleep around like 1:40 thank god! and its 4:00 now..im just wakin up..haha. there went my day. but im not worried about it b/c im spending my day at the house cleaning my room. haha.. well thats about all for now!!!

im kinda sore right now..so its kinda good to know that i dont have school tomorrow..haha. but i dont need to laugh about it b/c im suspended so im not out for a good reason. hopefully thats my last write up for a while. school went pretty well today. there was this little dramatic seen at break that was so unneccisary (sp) .. lol.. gosh it was so fake..totally not needed..haha. but i had a decent day at school as far as im concernd.. i got home around like 4.. i think! cleaned up a little bit. mom got home and took me to the barn, and i took scooby out on a trail ride. i usually dont go alone, but he takes care of me. we took the road to the air-strip. well on the way there i was passin by this house that has this rotweiller. well he followed me up to road kill cafe ( mind you i HATE them dogs.. i got attacked by one when i was 6) so i troted hoping to get way ahead of it.. well somthin set that dog off and he came runnin after us.. well i naturally kicked the crap out of scooby and made him TAKE off. i dont think i would call it a gallop but it was freakin fast! well the way i had gone into the feild there was this little gait thingy .. it was like 2 1/2 ft. tall. well there wasnt really any other choice but for me to jump over it.. and i was NOT gettin off that horse. so i just got in 2-point and closed my eyes.......... and he actually jumped it.. WOO i was like *GASP* and hauled ass into the back of my yard ( you can get to my yard from the air strip) and laughed.. I was so scared i guess that was my only reactions. i dunno..it was pretty fun.. haha. and then these rude behind boys beeped their horn at me and whistled. i just looked at them like they had said somthin stupid.. gosh.. but what ever.. i got to go. i dont feal like typin any longer.. <3

ahh- today was really good. hehe. school was boreing as usual. i got home around like 4.. waited until about 4:30 and asked kim if she wanted to go trail riding. so we went. .. every where! we managed to get to the air strip, which is a huge open feild. we canterd up that then went a few other places then home. the horses did really well. they acted very good.. things are going much better. me and my mom are workin things out. im tryin to change my ways with her..

it really amuses me how so many ppl can turn against you when you havent even done anything to them. hmm. how stupid. they should have dropped it a long time ago. but nooo they are just soo mature and want to drag it out. have fun lookin' stupid..but what ever. any ways. i cant type to much more..i have to get to bed. <3 ash

Hey you guys... stress full day. i was cryin my little eyes out from 5:30-7:30.. to much cryin really hurts your eyes. but its a long story..i feal a lil' better! any ways. i missed out on going trail riding with Kim today. that sucked. but hopefully i will get to go on saturday. school was a b==== today. mainly just the teacher.. i cant stand her. but i have to apologize for what i did, so i can make my parents happy! so yeah.. that should be intresting.... heh. not to much to say.. later!

hm. well im glad everything is settled between us.. well most of us. hopfully the remaining few who have issues with one another will solve them. we need to get over our diffrences. heh' you gotta learn to forgive. even if you do go against your word. life is about forgiving. im not one to speak b/c i do hold grudges and i'll admit it. but i got to grow out of that. its stupid. you could be missin out on really good friends. if you would give some one a chance you could see what type of person they really are. and im willin to take the chance and do that. hopefully we can become more honest and open. and freakin' start sayin what we think or feal in person and get away from these computers. im sure things would mean alot more if some one could actually hear you say somthin. nothing is solved. all we are doing is wasteing a time typing our hands off. when we could say it and clear the air in person. *sigh* im just glad the 3 of us could talk tonite and ya'll know who ya'll are. im not tryin to loose friends over somthin this stupid. and it took this long for me to realize it. call me 2-faced for tempting to become friends with them again. i dont care! ya gotta grow up and get over your diffrences. just remember everything happens for a reason. we may gain or lose some friends in the end but we will grow from this im sure. you will learn who you can be friends with and who you cant be friends with, you will learn to hold civil mature conversations with one another.. and if you dont want to attempt to become friends thats your personal opinoin. no one is forcing you to. just take it into consideration. this may seem like BS comin from me b/c just a few hours ago i was angry as heck with the ppl im tryin to bond with.. but hey.. i have grown up in about 5 hours..haha.. so just give it a thought..if you still feal the same.. g'luck in whatever you do. if you feal diffrently and want to become friends... we are here.

wow. its funny how fast you can loose your "true" friends. honestly what did i do wrong? nothing...and what would she know about a "true friend" when she cant even be one her self. i think its dumb that you are gonna let our friendship go down hill b/c of somthin like this. sorry for what ever it is that i "did" b/c i dont recall doing anything wrong. is it such a crime to express my opinion to you? or type it so you can read it. yeah ya'll are right, this went way to far..i agree on that much. but holy crap. ya'll are the ones that took it that far. hmm.. i never did anything to you.. i simply told you things that i thought..and you know whats funny. most of the time you agreed with me. who was the one that was there monday and went with you..who had your back? it was me. i have always had your back since day one..i have never said anything bad about you behind your back. i have never been anything but nice to you. i guess i'll stay out of your way and life b/c that seems to be what you want.

wow this weekend has been intresting.

Friday- Had a blast at the game.. we lost though so that pretty much sucks. <3 ya guys but ya'll suck at f.ball..

Saturday- spent hours at the barn riding... didnt get any sun so i was dissapointed.. I NEED TAN

Sunday- Yet again, spent hours at the barn,( GOT A TAN) rode...and sold scooby. *sigh* she is comin to pick him up on the 28th i think..so so sad. but she is the nicest lady..

Any ways. Im startin to think that me and a certain some one arent really that good of friends any more. All this drama has kinda pulled us apart from one another *sigh* who knows what is going to happen....

omfg. i wish i could get it through ppls heads that if some one says they are going to "change" and they dont... then obviously they cant. well they could but dont have enough effort to do it. jeez. why would you want to be friends with some one who talked shit about your bestfriends and then some about you. some ppl made changes... like me.. i have grown up and im tryin my best to stay out of all this mess but its very hard to when you know that ppl are just screwin them selves over. ... oh yeah "lets all be friends so i can just talk shit behind your back again" haha yeah. thats pretty much how it is going to . yeah i will admit none of this is my business at all but gosh. i am going to exspress my self and give it one last shot to get it through that she cant change. she is a bitch (from what i have seen) no one hardly has ANYTHING nice to say to/about her.. so shouldnt that tell you that thats how its gonna be for a while.. i mean as long as you are happy im happy but please just look . its right infront of your face..ya'll are using one another. im not tryin to choose your friends. but make a choice. are you going to be friends with her and just forgive everything that has happend lately and in the past??? if so how do you do that. please tell me b/c id like to know.. im lucky jenni forgave me. and if she still isnt to sure about us tryin to become friends i can understand that b/c i was a bitch.. to her.. just please watch out b/c i dont want you gettin screwd over in the end. all this is very very stupid. and to just go back to the problem is not going to solve anything.. but hey..its your life not mine <3

today is a really nice day. i woke up at like 12:30.. started the day late.but i got one thing accomplished. i went to the barn about 1:30 and rode until 3. thats a long time.But he did really good. I rode in the pasture where there are hills and everything.its pretty good endurance for him. I have been using splintboots and wraps though, just for some support. he worked up a pretty good sweat. then i groomed him really good and braided his tail, and put hoof dressing on his hooves. i think he is due for a trim. tommorow i got to run into town and get a wormer for him. i have to run by walmart anyways, so tractor supply is right there. my room is a wreck. i suppose i am going to spend most of the day cleaning it . how fun! i think next summer, im going to look for a job, or at least some where that keeps me occupied. i would like to work or volunteer at a stable some where. but i'll see what happens. gosh there is so much drama going on its not even funny. i want to say alot but im going to bite my tounge.any ways! i guess im gonna go do somthin...

holy crap. swansea beat us..bleh. losers! they only one by like 2 touchdowns though. 14-21 so yeah. that was my night. and belive it or not. there were no fights at all. i think all the cops were pissed that they had to come out for no reason..haha.the usual, we all hung out, talked crap, gossip, played around and blah blah. i think every one wanted me to go to 5th quarter, but i was like nah..im gonna go home and chill out for a little while. scooby got his shots today. i had to use spies. she isnt my fav. person, but hey, ya gotta do what cha gotta do..ya know? im really gonna miss that horse. i dont think i can say it enough. heh' who knows what will happen. gosh, i gotta get that off my mind. there is this party on the 29th i wanna go to, but im not sure if mom is going to let me. we all know there will be alchol and weed..but it doesnt mean i will do it....right? ;) haha. nah, im pretty responsible. lol. for the most part. .. cut me a break. im a teen. haha. i really wanna go. so im gonna figure out some way to go. william will be there. tee. :) on another note. i have to go through my room this weekend. im re-doing it. i got to get a new like earthy type tone in it. i dont like all this bright ass stuff. so im gonna be on the search for somthin....smooth? ya know? well i got my report card today. im failin algebra. i really suck at math. :( but its only a 65 so that wont be that hard to get up. as long as i have a 70 or above. im happy. im going blank..so im gonna go now. <3

holy crap. swansea beat us..bleh. losers! they only one by like 2 touchdowns though. 14-21 so yeah. that was my night. and belive it or not. there were no fights at all. i think all the cops were pissed that they had to come out for no reason..haha.the usual, we all hung out, talked crap, gossip, played around and blah blah. i think every one wanted me to go to 5th quarter, but i was like nah..im gonna go home and chill out for a little while. scooby got his shots today. i had to use spies. she isnt my fav. person, but hey, ya gotta do what cha gotta do..ya know? im really gonna miss that horse. i dont think i can say it enough. heh' who knows what will happen. gosh, i gotta get that off my mind. there is this party on the 29th i wanna go to, but im not sure if mom is going to let me. we all know there will be alchol and weed..but it doesnt mean i will do it....right? ;) haha. nah, im pretty responsible. lol. for the most part. .. cut me a break. im a teen. haha. i really wanna go. so im gonna figure out some way to go. william will be there. tee. :) on another note. i have to go through my room this weekend. im re-doing it. i got to get a new like earthy type tone in it. i dont like all this bright ass stuff. so im gonna be on the search for somthin....smooth? ya know?

OK! no more trouble at school. iss is so rediculous. i cant stand it. .i mean seriously being in the same room for 7 hours straight..its just terrible..torture and unusual punishment. *sigh*. so i didnt go to break detentions.woop! being freakin deal. re-assign it to me. how hard is that. but any ways. besides the issues that pelion has.. how is every one? im pretty good. i just got dont talkin to the vet about scooby. i had to make an appt. for him. he was due for his *5-way anual shot * w.nile* and strangles.. every thing else is good until march of next year. im glad this was a short week. but they always seem to be just as stressful as a normal 5-day week. darn! but anyways. i am glad to be gettin home at a decent time this year. i get out of school at 3:15 exacttly and depending on who dennis takes home, he gets me home at like 3:36.. better than last year when i rode the loser cruiser(bus) i got home at like 4:30..more later...

gosh ppl around here are such bitches..haha. they act so nice, and talk about all the changes they are gonna make..when actually the ONLY reason they are sayin that is so ppl will give them another chance, and so they can take advantage of those people..*sigh*. why cant ppl be real. i dont like fake ppl. if you got somthin to say to some one freakin say it! how hard is it. it makes things MUCH easier if you would just go ahead and say what you got to say, and get it all out the way, instead of pretending that you are so nice and loyal when really your just a major bitch..goodness me..what are people coming to? but any ways. besides all that. .. i have been tryin to ride scooby as much as i can befor i sell him. he has been doing really well. i can get him to jog now. ahh. i hate posting..haha. thank the lord he understands what im askin from him now. hehe. and he is doing great with his head set.its almost like he is like "look mom, i will do what ever you ask of me..just give me time"... aww. :( i about cried the other day. he was the only one out in the pasture and i was out there with him, and i sat down and he walked over to me and put his head on my shoulder and just sighed really big.. gah, im really gonna miss him. but i know its for the best. im just tryin to make the best choice for him. varsity is playin swansea friday. i cant wait. hopefully we will win. woo. swansea hates us. but oh well they will get over it. i hope! hehe. *sigh* who knows what i am doing this weekend. jeez. i cant wait til' i get a car. that way i can go where i want..

::yawns::... good morning. or afternoon i should say. i woke up at 1:00 today. i would be at the fair if i didnt have to go to my grandmas house for dinner. *sigh*. oh well. maybe next time. yesterday was extremly boreing. i sat at home, and shifted from room to room.. none of the rooms held anything intresting, so i read for a while. I didnt go to bed last night until about 2:00 am. William called me around 12:30 and we talked until 2. i was to tired to hold a good conversation with him. but good enough i suppose, seeings how we talked for so long. haha. i dont think today is going to be the least bit intresting. more later <3

there was a football game last night. we played CA johnson. it was poreing rain out, and i was soaked. hehe. i looked bad. hah. but oh well. there were so many fights about to go down. one involved me b/c this chick walked past one of my friends john and just punched him in the eye. so i let her know real quick that, that dont fly w/me.. THEN it was about 5 black ppl against 5 white people. the 5 white people being William, David, John, Berry, & Douglas.. thats what makes me hate black ppl b/c they go all racist, and they cant fight alone. like a fuckin herd of monkeys...one yells, here comes the whole pack. but what ever. that got broke up b-4 it got serious. williams ex. was there. she actually minded her own business. lol. any ways. i have had 4 ppl email me on scooby in 2 days. so maybe my luck will change. i just want to find him the right home. i think i am going to set the money back and put that towards my car. .. i think i am going to go ride him today, and groom him really good. there is really no need for me to bath him b/c he will just get dirty cause of the rain. but i guess i'll ride him for about an 1 or 2. kim came by last night and got my english show cloths, and my helmet and boots. so if they fit her, she will have somthin to ride english in. so yeah. im really sore and exhausted..but i got to get up and do somthin. im gonna go to walmart today and get a new bedspread. i can decide what i want to do my room in, but, i got to find somthin. and blah. and i have a ass of laundry to do. *sigh*. laundry sucks. hah.im still plannin' on goin to the fair sunday around 12. then go back monday with haleigh. hopefully *knock on wood* it wont rain. i really wanna go.

*sigh*. i hate this fealing. like your sad, but your not sure exactly why! ya know what i mean? i mean i dont really have a reason to be. i am kinda stressed but other than that, i dont know what is bothering me. maybe school, maybe other things. but which of those it is, i couldnt tell you. i have been thinkin alot lately. and its gonna be really sad to sell scooby b/c he is such a good horse. in a way, i want to stop riding to get focused on school (which is going bad) but then again, i live for riding. maybe its b/c ....well i dont even know what its "b/c of" but yeah. i think i am going to go back to takin lessons. gosh who knows what i am going to do. *sigh*

gosh. i am on some freakin trouble streak. jeez. the last 2 days have been hell. lets see i have had what 3 write ups in 2 days..mm. the first one was for being tardy to class (cause' of william) the 2nd one was for talkin in class (wtf) the 3rd one was cause the teacher was yellin at me in my face and i told her to basically shove it and shut the hell up b/c even my momma dont yell at me. (i ges i went to far) but yeah so that has been my days. YIKES. trouble. lol. this weekend is really busy. there is a football game on friday, saturday i am going to the mall, sunday i am going to the fair, and my grandparents for dinner. the last couple of days (since saturday) i have been riding scooby. i am workin on a few things with him. i cut his mane. aww. its soo short. i prolly took 3-4 inches off. but it looks cute on him. i bet if it was banded down it would look really good. i would ride him today but the weather kinda stoped me. poor guy is all out there by him self. every time i drive by he is standing up at the gate. :( oh well. but yeah. i actually got him to jog yesterday. i had to use a crop to collect him a lil. but it worked. hehe. NO MORE POSTING YAY j/k but um. i need to find some where close by to take some lessons from. im glad we dont have school on monday. we actually have it off to go to the fair. but i dont think that i am going that day with haleigh. i need to but i dunno. i'll find some way to. hehe....