2manyemotions

long time

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 16:21:19 GMT

dang! its been a long time since i have updated this thing. i have been stuck on xanga. its taking over! jk. any ways. lets see where do i start..

well school is going pretty good. im about 50% sure im gonng have to take algebra over next yr. but thats ok. im trying.

me and william are really good friends now. lets just say, you cant even tell we broke up according to about half the 9th grade. hah. but thats ok.

me and haleigh have a nail appt. today around 2 so im glad to finnally be able to go get nails. b/c now that i dont have a horse i dont have to worry about breakin them or somthin.

i went to the mall yesterday, and got 3 shirts from hollister, 2 from abercrombie..and some earings from the body shop. i went to kohls and they did have ANYTHING AT ALL. that suprised me b/c they usually have a good bit to choose from. but oh well.

me and kim went out friday night. we got hit on by a freakin mexican. >{ but we went to go see dreamer. it was a really good movie. and we went out to eat also. it was fun!

gosh, its so hard to belive that im going to be an aunt in about 7wks. dang! time sure does fly. its almost 2006. where is the time going? im so excited tho, b/c i will be gettin my permit and car here sooon. yay!

well thats about all for now.. more later <3

Sun, 30 Oct 2005 20:57:32 GMT

im pretty hurt and confused right now. this weekend hasnt been the best for me. i hope every one else had more fun than i did. me and william broke up. i thought we ended on good terms... well he went to this party sat. night where his physco ex. was. all this crap got started now i dont know where him and i stand. i dont even know what to do. i personally think its all stupid. i hope he makes some effort to talk to me on monday. but i dunno how that will go.. ... i should screw hif best friend jk jk jk !

Sun, 23 Oct 2005 20:05:11 GMT

wow. what a great weekend. i didnt have school friday so that was great! i got to spend time to my self.. i went to kims that nite. we had great fun ;) saturday morning, we were plannin' on gettin' up early and going to ashley's barn..but we woke up an hour late. so we got fred up, me him and kim went trail riding for like an hour or so.. haha. we rode them up to road kill cafe in the parkin lot with the intentions on gettin somthin to drink, but they were closed.. poo. any ways, i went home and got ready and went to my sisters baby shower. she got ALOT of stuff.
to much pink
well kim called me wanting to know if i wanted to go to scarowinds with her , ashley, jason and some of his family.. well i didnt have any money with me,but ashley had a ticket i could use (thnx girly) we went out there. it was really fun. me and kim had to leave early though b/c mom wanted me home befor 12 am. (sorry girl) well we couldnt find any open gas staions. so we didnt get home til' about 1am. haha. i slept sooo good. william called me to make sure i got home ok and all that.. aww <3 so we talked for like 30 min. and i finally got to sleep around like 1:40 thank god! and its 4:00 now..im just wakin up..haha. there went my day. but im not worried about it b/c im spending my day at the house cleaning my room. haha.. well thats about all for now!!!

Fri, 21 Oct 2005 02:16:33 GMT

im kinda sore right now..so its kinda good to know that i dont have school tomorrow..haha. but i dont need to laugh about it b/c im suspended so im not out for a good reason. hopefully thats my last write up for a while. school went pretty well today. there was this little dramatic seen at break that was so unneccisary (sp) .. lol.. gosh it was so fake..totally not needed..haha. but i had a decent day at school as far as im concernd.. i got home around like 4.. i think! cleaned up a little bit. mom got home and took me to the barn, and i took scooby out on a trail ride. i usually dont go alone, but he takes care of me. we took the road to the air-strip. well on the way there i was passin by this house that has this rotweiller. well he followed me up to road kill cafe ( mind you i HATE them dogs.. i got attacked by one when i was 6) so i troted hoping to get way ahead of it.. well somthin set that dog off and he came runnin after us.. well i naturally kicked the crap out of scooby and made him TAKE off. i dont think i would call it a gallop but it was freakin fast! well the way i had gone into the feild there was this little gait thingy .. it was like 2 1/2 ft. tall. well there wasnt really any other choice but for me to jump over it.. and i was NOT gettin off that horse. so i just got in 2-point and closed my eyes.......... and he actually jumped it.. WOO i was like *GASP* and hauled ass into the back of my yard ( you can get to my yard from the air strip) and laughed.. I was so scared i guess that was my only reactions. i dunno..it was pretty fun.. haha. and then these rude behind boys beeped their horn at me and whistled. i just looked at them like they had said somthin stupid.. gosh.. but what ever.. i got to go. i dont feal like typin any longer.. <3

Thu, 20 Oct 2005 02:06:00 GMT

ahh- today was really good. hehe. school was boreing as usual. i got home around like 4.. waited until about 4:30 and asked kim if she wanted to go trail riding. so we went. .. every where! we managed to get to the air strip, which is a huge open feild. we canterd up that then went a few other places then home. the horses did really well. they acted very good.. things are going much better. me and my mom are workin things out. im tryin to change my ways with her..

it really amuses me how so many ppl can turn against you when you havent even done anything to them. hmm. how stupid. they should have dropped it a long time ago. but nooo they are just soo mature and want to drag it out. have fun lookin' stupid..but what ever. any ways. i cant type to much more..i have to get to bed. <3 ash

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 01:17:43 GMT

Hey you guys... stress full day. i was cryin my little eyes out from 5:30-7:30.. to much cryin really hurts your eyes. but its a long story..i feal a lil' better! any ways. i missed out on going trail riding with Kim today. that sucked. but hopefully i will get to go on saturday. school was a b==== today. mainly just the teacher.. i cant stand her. but i have to apologize for what i did, so i can make my parents happy! so yeah.. that should be intresting.... heh. not to much to say.. later!

Tue, 18 Oct 2005 03:36:53 GMT

hm. well im glad everything is settled between us.. well most of us. hopfully the remaining few who have issues with one another will solve them. we need to get over our diffrences. heh' you gotta learn to forgive. even if you do go against your word. life is about forgiving. im not one to speak b/c i do hold grudges and i'll admit it. but i got to grow out of that. its stupid. you could be missin out on really good friends. if you would give some one a chance you could see what type of person they really are. and im willin to take the chance and do that. hopefully we can become more honest and open. and freakin' start sayin what we think or feal in person and get away from these computers. im sure things would mean alot more if some one could actually hear you say somthin. nothing is solved. all we are doing is wasteing a time typing our hands off. when we could say it and clear the air in person. *sigh* im just glad the 3 of us could talk tonite and ya'll know who ya'll are. im not tryin to loose friends over somthin this stupid. and it took this long for me to realize it. call me 2-faced for tempting to become friends with them again. i dont care! ya gotta grow up and get over your diffrences. just remember everything happens for a reason. we may gain or lose some friends in the end but we will grow from this im sure. you will learn who you can be friends with and who you cant be friends with, you will learn to hold civil mature conversations with one another.. and if you dont want to attempt to become friends thats your personal opinoin. no one is forcing you to. just take it into consideration. this may seem like BS comin from me b/c just a few hours ago i was angry as heck with the ppl im tryin to bond with.. but hey.. i have grown up in about 5 hours..haha.. so just give it a thought..if you still feal the same.. g'luck in whatever you do. if you feal diffrently and want to become friends... we are here.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 20:24:16 GMT

wow. its funny how fast you can loose your "true" friends. honestly what did i do wrong? nothing...and what would she know about a "true friend" when she cant even be one her self. i think its dumb that you are gonna let our friendship go down hill b/c of somthin like this. sorry for what ever it is that i "did" b/c i dont recall doing anything wrong. is it such a crime to express my opinion to you? or type it so you can read it. yeah ya'll are right, this went way to far..i agree on that much. but holy crap. ya'll are the ones that took it that far. hmm.. i never did anything to you.. i simply told you things that i thought..and you know whats funny. most of the time you agreed with me. who was the one that was there monday and went with you..who had your back? it was me. i have always had your back since day one..i have never said anything bad about you behind your back. i have never been anything but nice to you. i guess i'll stay out of your way and life b/c that seems to be what you want.

Mon, 17 Oct 2005 01:29:52 GMT

wow this weekend has been intresting.

Friday- Had a blast at the game.. we lost though so that pretty much sucks. <3 ya guys but ya'll suck at f.ball..

Saturday- spent hours at the barn riding... didnt get any sun so i was dissapointed.. I NEED TAN

Sunday- Yet again, spent hours at the barn,( GOT A TAN) rode...and sold scooby. *sigh* she is comin to pick him up on the 28th i think..so so sad. but she is the nicest lady..

Any ways. Im startin to think that me and a certain some one arent really that good of friends any more. All this drama has kinda pulled us apart from one another *sigh* who knows what is going to happen....

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 21:56:47 GMT

omfg. i wish i could get it through ppls heads that if some one says they are going to "change" and they dont... then obviously they cant. well they could but dont have enough effort to do it. jeez. why would you want to be friends with some one who talked shit about your bestfriends and then some about you. some ppl made changes... like me.. i have grown up and im tryin my best to stay out of all this mess but its very hard to when you know that ppl are just screwin them selves over. ... oh yeah "lets all be friends so i can just talk shit behind your back again" haha yeah. thats pretty much how it is going to . yeah i will admit none of this is my business at all but gosh. i am going to exspress my self and give it one last shot to get it through that she cant change. she is a bitch (from what i have seen) no one hardly has ANYTHING nice to say to/about her.. so shouldnt that tell you that thats how its gonna be for a while.. i mean as long as you are happy im happy but please just look . its right infront of your face..ya'll are using one another. im not tryin to choose your friends. but make a choice. are you going to be friends with her and just forgive everything that has happend lately and in the past??? if so how do you do that. please tell me b/c id like to know.. im lucky jenni forgave me. and if she still isnt to sure about us tryin to become friends i can understand that b/c i was a bitch.. to her.. just please watch out b/c i dont want you gettin screwd over in the end. all this is very very stupid. and to just go back to the problem is not going to solve anything.. but hey..its your life not mine <3

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 19:32:07 GMT

today is a really nice day. i woke up at like 12:30.. started the day late.but i got one thing accomplished. i went to the barn about 1:30 and rode until 3. thats a long time.But he did really good. I rode in the pasture where there are hills and everything.its pretty good endurance for him. I have been using splintboots and wraps though, just for some support. he worked up a pretty good sweat. then i groomed him really good and braided his tail, and put hoof dressing on his hooves. i think he is due for a trim. tommorow i got to run into town and get a wormer for him. i have to run by walmart anyways, so tractor supply is right there. my room is a wreck. i suppose i am going to spend most of the day cleaning it . how fun! i think next summer, im going to look for a job, or at least some where that keeps me occupied. i would like to work or volunteer at a stable some where. but i'll see what happens. gosh there is so much drama going on its not even funny. i want to say alot but im going to bite my tounge.any ways! i guess im gonna go do somthin...

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 02:33:57 GMT

holy crap. swansea beat us..bleh. losers! they only one by like 2 touchdowns though. 14-21 so yeah. that was my night. and belive it or not. there were no fights at all. i think all the cops were pissed that they had to come out for no reason..haha.the usual, we all hung out, talked crap, gossip, played around and blah blah. i think every one wanted me to go to 5th quarter, but i was like nah..im gonna go home and chill out for a little while. scooby got his shots today. i had to use spies. she isnt my fav. person, but hey, ya gotta do what cha gotta do..ya know? im really gonna miss that horse. i dont think i can say it enough. heh' who knows what will happen. gosh, i gotta get that off my mind. there is this party on the 29th i wanna go to, but im not sure if mom is going to let me. we all know there will be alchol and weed..but it doesnt mean i will do it....right? ;) haha. nah, im pretty responsible. lol. for the most part. .. cut me a break. im a teen. haha. i really wanna go. so im gonna figure out some way to go. william will be there. tee. :) on another note. i have to go through my room this weekend. im re-doing it. i got to get a new like earthy type tone in it. i dont like all this bright ass stuff. so im gonna be on the search for somthin....smooth? ya know? well i got my report card today. im failin algebra. i really suck at math. :( but its only a 65 so that wont be that hard to get up. as long as i have a 70 or above. im happy. im going blank..so im gonna go now. <3

Sat, 15 Oct 2005 02:32:02 GMT

Thu, 13 Oct 2005 21:23:48 GMT

OK! no more trouble at school. iss is so rediculous. i cant stand it. .i mean seriously being in the same room for 7 hours straight..its just terrible..torture and unusual punishment. *sigh*. so i didnt go to break detentions.woop! being freakin deal. re-assign it to me. how hard is that. but any ways. besides the issues that pelion has.. how is every one? im pretty good. i just got dont talkin to the vet about scooby. i had to make an appt. for him. he was due for his *5-way anual shot * w.nile* and strangles.. every thing else is good until march of next year. im glad this was a short week. but they always seem to be just as stressful as a normal 5-day week. darn! but anyways. i am glad to be gettin home at a decent time this year. i get out of school at 3:15 exacttly and depending on who dennis takes home, he gets me home at like 3:36.. better than last year when i rode the loser cruiser(bus) i got home at like 4:30..more later...

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 23:28:30 GMT

gosh ppl around here are such bitches..haha. they act so nice, and talk about all the changes they are gonna make..when actually the ONLY reason they are sayin that is so ppl will give them another chance, and so they can take advantage of those people..*sigh*. why cant ppl be real. i dont like fake ppl. if you got somthin to say to some one freakin say it! how hard is it. it makes things MUCH easier if you would just go ahead and say what you got to say, and get it all out the way, instead of pretending that you are so nice and loyal when really your just a major bitch..goodness me..what are people coming to? but any ways. besides all that. .. i have been tryin to ride scooby as much as i can befor i sell him. he has been doing really well. i can get him to jog now. ahh. i hate posting..haha. thank the lord he understands what im askin from him now. hehe. and he is doing great with his head set.its almost like he is like "look mom, i will do what ever you ask of me..just give me time"... aww. :( i about cried the other day. he was the only one out in the pasture and i was out there with him, and i sat down and he walked over to me and put his head on my shoulder and just sighed really big.. gah, im really gonna miss him. but i know its for the best. im just tryin to make the best choice for him. varsity is playin swansea friday. i cant wait. hopefully we will win. woo. swansea hates us. but oh well they will get over it. i hope! hehe. *sigh* who knows what i am doing this weekend. jeez. i cant wait til' i get a car. that way i can go where i want..

Sun, 09 Oct 2005 18:17:16 GMT

::yawns::... good morning. or afternoon i should say. i woke up at 1:00 today. i would be at the fair if i didnt have to go to my grandmas house for dinner. *sigh*. oh well. maybe next time. yesterday was extremly boreing. i sat at home, and shifted from room to room.. none of the rooms held anything intresting, so i read for a while. I didnt go to bed last night until about 2:00 am. William called me around 12:30 and we talked until 2. i was to tired to hold a good conversation with him. but good enough i suppose, seeings how we talked for so long. haha. i dont think today is going to be the least bit intresting. more later <3

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 17:14:29 GMT

there was a football game last night. we played CA johnson. it was poreing rain out, and i was soaked. hehe. i looked bad. hah. but oh well. there were so many fights about to go down. one involved me b/c this chick walked past one of my friends john and just punched him in the eye. so i let her know real quick that, that dont fly w/me.. THEN it was about 5 black ppl against 5 white people. the 5 white people being William, David, John, Berry, & Douglas.. thats what makes me hate black ppl b/c they go all racist, and they cant fight alone. like a fuckin herd of monkeys...one yells, here comes the whole pack. but what ever. that got broke up b-4 it got serious. williams ex. was there. she actually minded her own business. lol. any ways. i have had 4 ppl email me on scooby in 2 days. so maybe my luck will change. i just want to find him the right home. i think i am going to set the money back and put that towards my car. .. i think i am going to go ride him today, and groom him really good. there is really no need for me to bath him b/c he will just get dirty cause of the rain. but i guess i'll ride him for about an 1 or 2. kim came by last night and got my english show cloths, and my helmet and boots. so if they fit her, she will have somthin to ride english in. so yeah. im really sore and exhausted..but i got to get up and do somthin. im gonna go to walmart today and get a new bedspread. i can decide what i want to do my room in, but, i got to find somthin. and blah. and i have a ass of laundry to do. *sigh*. laundry sucks. hah.im still plannin' on goin to the fair sunday around 12. then go back monday with haleigh. hopefully *knock on wood* it wont rain. i really wanna go.

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 23:26:01 GMT

*sigh*. i hate this fealing. like your sad, but your not sure exactly why! ya know what i mean? i mean i dont really have a reason to be. i am kinda stressed but other than that, i dont know what is bothering me. maybe school, maybe other things. but which of those it is, i couldnt tell you. i have been thinkin alot lately. and its gonna be really sad to sell scooby b/c he is such a good horse. in a way, i want to stop riding to get focused on school (which is going bad) but then again, i live for riding. maybe its b/c ....well i dont even know what its "b/c of" but yeah. i think i am going to go back to takin lessons. gosh who knows what i am going to do. *sigh*

Wed, 05 Oct 2005 20:52:04 GMT

gosh. i am on some freakin trouble streak. jeez. the last 2 days have been hell. lets see i have had what 3 write ups in 2 days..mm. the first one was for being tardy to class (cause' of william) the 2nd one was for talkin in class (wtf) the 3rd one was cause the teacher was yellin at me in my face and i told her to basically shove it and shut the hell up b/c even my momma dont yell at me. (i ges i went to far) but yeah so that has been my days. YIKES. trouble. lol. this weekend is really busy. there is a football game on friday, saturday i am going to the mall, sunday i am going to the fair, and my grandparents for dinner. the last couple of days (since saturday) i have been riding scooby. i am workin on a few things with him. i cut his mane. aww. its soo short. i prolly took 3-4 inches off. but it looks cute on him. i bet if it was banded down it would look really good. i would ride him today but the weather kinda stoped me. poor guy is all out there by him self. every time i drive by he is standing up at the gate. :( oh well. but yeah. i actually got him to jog yesterday. i had to use a crop to collect him a lil. but it worked. hehe. NO MORE POSTING YAY j/k but um. i need to find some where close by to take some lessons from. im glad we dont have school on monday. we actually have it off to go to the fair. but i dont think that i am going that day with haleigh. i need to but i dunno. i'll find some way to. hehe....

WOW. things change quick!

Mon, 03 Oct 2005 23:07:23 GMT

well the drama is startin up again, but this time..its actually not at school. some one is makin a choice to do somthin for some one else. and as i told every one else. im gonna try and stay out of it b/c its not my choice. im just gonna watch and see what happens. what can i really do about it? theres nothing i can do. i will exspress my opinion but thats about as far as im gonna go on this one. and the thing is, its kinda funny to a point. but it can also piss you off in the same turn. people make mistakes in life, and all they can do is learn from them. and if they dont the first time. i guess its themselves they are hurting in the long run. but as long as they are happy im happy. i just want things to go smothly and if not..then all i can say is "well, to late to turn back now". i think i am going to start takin western pleasure lessons after i sell my horse and just keep learning. then in the next year or so when i have a car, i'll get back into it when i can depend on my self for transportaion. i think i am going to the fair on saturday to watch the show, and meet up with some people.?! hopefully things will be chill. .. me and william are doing really well. <3. he is havin some party on the 29th.but i seriously doubt i will go to that. who knows though. thats kinda far away. dad came into town this weekend. err. the usual. he says he wants to spend so much time with me, but does he? NO! but oh well. if he wanted to spend time with me, he would but if not, then there is nothing i can really do about that ya know? well thats about all i have for now..

Thu, 29 Sep 2005 20:57:49 GMT

Yeah, so things are going per-tee well in my life right about now. me and haleigh worked everything out, me and william are doing great, and school..well everything is chill there. i am going to start to work on improvin my grades the 1st of october! i have been thinkin alot about things lately and i think that now would be probably the best time to get things the way i want them and now would be the best time for a change. i just cant wait to see the outcome of everything. so yes! im pretty happy right now. there has been alot that i have wanted to say lately, but im not going to waiste my time gettin into arguments..i have my method, and that is simply to live for today and not tommorow. i cant wait until the fair. i think i am going to get a bunch of friends together and we are all gonna go and get sick. LOL. those rides do tend to mess with my stomache. friday me haleigh and william are going to go to the movies and see "flight-plan"..i think that is going to be a really good movies from what i have seen so far . so if you are intersted in how it goes..i'll let you know. i had to take this test in Street Law today. err. i have a fealin i made at least a 70. gosh dang, i have a test to make up in Algerbra 1.. oopps. lol now you see why im goin to start fresh at the beg. of next month. b/c its a wee bit to late now. lol. dont ask whats up with the lango today, but its just whats comin out .i have some one comin to look at scooby today . aww. i hope things go well. i feal really bad for havin to sell him. but i just think it would be the smarter thing to do. i know that if things keep going the way that they are, i am not gonna have time. but if i thought that things would chill a lil' i would keep him. but i may just wait until later in the future to start back again. but until then, im going to sell all my stuff and get rid of all the memories. yes! the memories. its really gonna hurt to stop riding. but i may go back to takin dressage lessons. but im not 100% sure yet.!? *sigh* scooby is a REALLY good horse, and NO he isnt pure bred but what ever. he still has the best heart out of any horse i have ever met.. and he may be 12 but fuck all the people who dont think highly of him. i am really gonna hurt when he leaves. he did me a huge favor my brining up my confidence from that accident last year. :( hmm. anywho..thats all i have to say for now. more later.

I dont know how to let any one else in......Im afraid

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 18:06:22 GMT

you told me that you have liked me since 2 years ago?! what took you so long? you have helped me get over him. and im glad that 3 years worth of passionate love is out of my life. i have never had any one fall hard in love with me like you have so give me time and i will adjust. i dont want to get hurt again. i feal so empty sometimes, but i feal like if i take my time and make all the right choices that i will be ok. he made me afraid to like some one else again. b/c it only took me one time hearing his voice and i would fall in love with him all over again. but now that i have someone who feals for me like i felt for him, i think that i can see things more clear now. ... im to young to feal this way..how do i know if its real.

******************************************

so this weekend was intresting. friday was kinda dull actually.. i stayed at home all day and did nothing. talked to william for a long time..saturday i went shoppin.. i was lookin for some shoes that should have came out but didnt..bummer. haleigh came over later that night and we went and had dinner with every one at my sisters house. we stayed up pretty late talkin about random things... good stuff! now im here alone, thinkin and just updating this thing b/c it seems to be what i rely on when i have nothing to do. i am in the process of makin a "my-space"..But I get kinda bored with typin my profile so i will eventually come around to finishin that. the fair is almost here, and i cant wait! hopefully the 9th will go good when i go to the horse show part. i just dont want to see any horses go crazy. thats never good. its really gonna be sad when i sell scooby. but i know its the best for him. i just dont find time any more. if it didnt get dark till 10pm i would still be able to have him.but its not fair to him that he has to sit out there in the pasture all the time when he was use to being rode 1-2 hours a day like 3-5 times a week! so personally its my fault b/c i get to doing to much at once thinkin i can handle it all. but im going to do the right thing and go ahead and put up some ads. im gonna sell my saddle with the bridle and martingale.and im going to sell my show clothes and boots and helmet more than likely. well i dunno i may keep my helmet. im not sure. but i got to get rid of everything. b/c it sittin around isnt makin things any easier on me. my little puppy is doing really well. gettin soo big. we took him to the vet the other weeke and he already weighs 7.4 pounds but he is such a cutie. i think that i am going to put him in this JR club to where i can race him. but he is kinda 'thick' so he may not be up for that..lol poor guy. and the thing is he really doesnt eat that much. oh lord, i have got to pull up my grade in algebra. i can not fail that. i have until dec. to make a 71 at least. but it may help if i do my home work huh? well i got to clean...more later

to many thoughts

Thu, 22 Sep 2005 23:28:28 GMT

what a week. yes, my week is over. we dont have school friday. woo.so i am pretty happy about that. things have been going pretty good for the most part. but im just gonna post a few thoughts and whats been going on in my world. i had in-school wed. it really suckes. iss. was alot better in middle school b/c we were more "free" and coach crews was MUCH better to stare at for 7 hours and 15 min. b/c mr. herlong is a old mad.. yuck! but today, we got break back. i think it was taken b/c of those stupid fools from 2nd lunch that dont know how to clean up after them selves. ugh. but me and william just hung out at break with kristen, john, travis, mackenzie haleigh and sam. we talked about random things. haleigh wrote me a 8 page letter. wow. it just rambled on about random things. me and william are doing good. he said he thought we would never be more than friends but now that we are datein that he has discoverd he likes me ALOT. aww. *melts*. he is such a cutie. every one is like, i wish my boyfriend was like that. haha. i have been riding scooby. he is doing pretty good. i got some one comin' to look at him sat. hopefully that will go pretty good. i should seriously be at the foot ball game right now. but im not. *sigh*. any ways. yeah i think it is amazing how ppl are so .. stupid. i just cant belive that some ppl call them selves mature when really they arent. hah'. their turn will come. and i'll laugh when it does. i am plannin on going to the fair on the 9th to watch every one(that matters) ride.soo good luck ya'll. oh yeah i found this song and i really like it.:

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery
I will not break, the way you did, you fell so hard
I’ve learned the hard way to never let it get that far

(chorus)
Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I find it hard to find it hard to trust, not only me,
but everyone around me, Because of you, I am afraid

I lose my way, and its not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry, because I know that’s weakness in your eyes
I’m forced to fake a smile, a laugh, every day of my life
My heart can’t possibly break, when it wasn’t even whole to start with

(chorus)

I watched you die, I heard you cry, every night in your sleep.
I was so young, you should have known better than to lean on me.
You never thought of anyone else you just saw your pain.
And now I cry in the middle of the night, doin the same damn thing

(chorus, but slightly different)
Because of you I never strayed to far from the sidewalk
Because of you I learned to play on the safe side so I don’t get hurt
Because of you I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you I don’t know how to let anyone else in

Because of you I’m ashamed of my life, because its empty
Because of you, I am afraid

Because of you…

Because of you…

I could really dedicate that to some one. but im over him, he is in the past and come to find out he was never worth anything. some ppl think things will change but im just livin for today. and what ever happens tommorow happens for a reason. thats the way i like to think of it. well there isnt much more to say.

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 22:27:53 GMT

This weekend was pretty good. There was a game Friday (Mid-carolina).. Found out we lost for some odd reason. Saturday Me haleigh and William went to see the Skeleton Key. It was alright. I stayed at her house Sat. night and came home about 1:30 today. I decided to watch The Notebook. Aww. that was a great movie. I have seen it once before but It was even better the second time. any ways. Yep. William asked me out saturday night. Aww. it was cute. lol so yeah we are datin. Im not plannin on showin scooby at the fair.. But im still gonna go to support every one. Good luck to the ppl WHO MATTER. but yeah not much more to say.

Thu, 15 Sep 2005 22:49:30 GMT

yep. im updatin again ..maybe some ppl care about whats going on in life. im pretty happy that the drama has sorda cleared up. takes the weight off my shoulders. but in the process of it all going away, friends were droppin like flies. and honestly, it has all worked out for the best. i am finally with the right 'crew' and now i feal alot more 'grown up'..im glad that every thing is going fairly well. i just dont want to take advantage of that. i think that things will happen when they need too. dad is comin' into town saturday just for a bit to say hi, he has to come take care of somthing(s)!?! so yeah. .. i guess lately i have had some mix ups. fealings dont match with words and vice-versa. but not as depressing as it may sound. i feal fine right now. i think im just cravin some alone time and tryin to figure out some things that have been floating through my mind...

but yeah.. im like kinda bored.
bored: more later